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We are the wolves of the sea June 11, 2008

Posted by mmonla in Humour.
1 comment so far

Let’s get straight to the point: EUROVISION 2008.

It’s that kind of show you want to watch but don’t really want to admit to having seen. Or you’ll play the 90s “ironic” card and maintain the purity of your coolness by claiming you watched it under a veil of sardonic humor.
And you know who’ll help you with that? BBC commentator Terry Wogan. Here are a few highlights of his “commentating”*:

Referring to Swedish commentator Björn Gustafsson:
“You look like a million dollars, Björn.”

Just when the Latvian pirates (literally) are about to take the stage:
“Now’s the time to practice your Johnny Depp impersonations.”

About the Polish singer:
“You haven’t seen teeth like these since the Osmonds.”

(Allow me a bit of a side rant concerning Denmark’s entry. How many times will people still be allowed to call a song some variation of “dancing all night long”? We get it. You can stay up late.)

But putting aside the pirates, the angels and the dancing Danes, there were nevertheless a few (two) highlights:
– The 75-year-old Croatian man called 75 Cent: priceless.
– The French entry: brilliant but I’ll get back to that later.

As for Sir Terry, he was not happy the UK ended up last tied with Germany and Poland. In fact, the unfortunate consequence of the UK’s terrible night was an angry outcry from Sir Wogan himself against bloc voting, expatriate minority voting and even racism – obviously the only possible explanations for the UK not winning.
Though there may be some truth to these statements, the attitude is besides the point really: one either goes down the path of dry wit or embraces the trashiness and vows for the top spot, the Nobel of tacky. You can’t have both (and I say go for the first).

And that’s where France shined. They had a man riding in on a golf cart holding a balloon, a trippy song and bearded female vocalists singing something about the milky way. They maintained their dignity and pride by not bothering to be above or below the competition, but completely beside it. How’s THAT for ironic?

*I send a public invitation for more Terry Wogan quotes that I may add to my collection. Any help is welcome.